Understanding non-physical forms of family violence: Recognising the signs and seeking support.

Going through a separation can be incredibly challenging, and unfortunately it’s not uncommon for family violence in some form to be part of that experience. Family violence isn’t just about physical harm or ‘explosive’ incidents. It can take much subtler forms which are just as damaging.

At Umbrella Family Law, we want to help you recognise common signs of non-physical family violence, how you can seek support and understand that you’re not alone.

Family violence can affect anyone, regardless of gender or background. It’s important to distinguish between a “normal” dispute, which is natural in any relationship, and the behaviours that constitute family violence. Below are some examples which you might relate to your own experience. If any of these resonate with you, please reach out to us – we’re here to help.

Kinds of Non-Physical Family Violence

Emotional Abuse

This involves manipulating emotions to control, frighten, or isolate someone. Examples include constant criticism, belittling, name-calling, and making someone feel worthless

Example: Kate’s partner constantly tells her that she’s “stupid and worthless”, making her feel like she can’t do anything right. This leads to a fight with her best friend, causing her to lose one of her main supports.

Example: Mark’s partner frequently tells him that “no one else would ever love him” and that he’s lucky they tolerate his flaws. This upsets Mark and affects his work life, making him feel like he has no control.

Psychological Abuse

This focuses on instilling fear and undermining a person’s sense of reality. It can include threats, intimidation, gaslighting (making someone doubt their own sanity), and controlling behaviours.

Example: Michelle’s partner purposely gets her angry and then films her reaction, making her look like the aggressor when the police arrive. Michelle then feels powerless and betrayed by the system.

Example: Adam’s partner threatens to take their children away if he tries to leave, making him feel trapped and worried about his kids’ future.

Financial Abuse

Controlling someone’s access to money and financial resources is a powerful way to exert control. This can involve restricting access to bank accounts, withholding money, or preventing someone from working.

Example: Sarah’s partner prevents her from accessing their bank accounts and tracks all her spending, leaving her financially dependent on him. She feels she can’t afford to leave.

Example: Alex’s partner makes him hand over his salary every month and becomes upset if he wants a separate account, accusing him of cheating.

Social Abuse

This involves isolating someone from their friends, family, and social networks. The abuser might control who the person sees, where they go, or who they talk to, making the victim increasingly dependent on the abuser.

Example: Mike’s partner makes him cancel plans with friends and constantly calls him when he’s out, claiming it’s because they want to spend all their time together.

Example: Christine’s partner stops her from attending family gatherings and gets angry when she spends time with friends, making her feel isolated.

Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse includes yelling, insults, humiliation, and constant criticism aimed at damaging someone’s self-esteem and mental health.

Example: Laura’s partner yells at her daily and criticizes her appearance and abilities in front of their children, making her feel worthless.

Example: George’s partner frequently insults his intelligence and mocks his career, undermining his confidence.

Digital Abuse

Abuse can also happen online these days. This includes using social media, texts, or emails to harass, stalk, or intimidate someone. Monitoring someone’s online activities without their consent is also a form of digital abuse.

Example: David’s partner insists on having access to all his social media accounts and frequently checks his phone, claiming it’s to keep him safe.

Example: Tessa’s partner monitors her social media interactions and uses GPS tracking to keep tabs on her location.

Stalking

Following, monitoring, or watching someone without their consent can create an environment of fear and anxiety. Stalking can happen in person or digitally, and it often escalates over time.

Example: After their separation , Lisa’s partner follows her to work and sends her unwanted messages, making her feel constantly watched.

Example: Tom’s ex-partner shows up uninvited at his home and leaves messages on his car, making him feel unable to escape.

Spiritual or Religious Abuse

This type involves using someone’s spiritual or religious beliefs to manipulate or control them. It can include preventing someone from practicing their faith, mocking their beliefs, or using religious teachings to justify abuse.

Example: Michael’s partner ridicules his religious beliefs and forbids him from participating in his faith community.

Example: Rebecca’s partner mocks her spirituality and uses religious texts selectively to justify his controlling behaviour.

 

We’re Here for You!

Recognising these types of abuse is crucial for understanding how they can manifest and affect individuals and families.

If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these forms of abuse, it’s important to seek help and support. Click HERE for more information on how we can help support you or someone you love.

Umbrella Family Law has its doors open to you to talk about how you can move on from these situations. No one should feel alone, and it’s not your fault nor is it your responsibility to change your abuser. Reach out to us – we’re here to support you every step of the way.